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Saints' Discussion Forums  |  Forums  |  Everything Else  |  Topic: puns! oh dear... « previous next »
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RachelKH
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« on: April 18, 2012, 10:59:20 AM »

This came in my email today.


Enjoy!

PUNOGRAPHY

I don't enjoy computer jokes; not one bit.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro: what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh, deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

[Moderator: Minor Edit]
« Last Edit: April 18, 2012, 08:26:05 PM by Shin » Logged

Heavenly Father help me to persevere, to strive where my will is weak, and to begin again where I have failed, that whatever I lack in love, I may put right in the trying. Amen.
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« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2012, 08:26:32 PM »

You and odhiambo are trying to kill me, aren't you?  Cheesy
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
odhiambo
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« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2012, 05:53:59 AM »

You and odhiambo are trying to kill me, aren't you?  Cheesy

Help, I am innocent,
Someone, anyone,  heeeelp Grin
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
odhiambo
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« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2012, 06:00:26 AM »

This came in my email today.
Enjoy!
PUNOGRAPHY
I don't enjoy computer jokes; not one bit.
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Velcro: what a rip off!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner again? Oh, deer!
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

These are great Rachel  thumbs up
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
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