Saints' Discussion Forums

I wonder if you could take time to pray for me...
I am struggling because I put a lot of effort into my friends, and try to give as much support as I can, through prayer and listening and in practical ways. Some are friends in real life, and others are on-line friends. This last week or two, I have been so busy with family life, my new little grandson who arrived last Sunday, supporting my daughter, a practical crisis at work, and some very difficult issues to deal with in my job as a counsellor. It is at times like these that I need to love and support of my friends, but I have noticed that when I am not actively working on the friendships, I receive very little from them. I have my family, but we are all tired and in need of some tlc right now!
I know it isn't right of me to give in order to receive, or to expect anything back for the love I offer, but when this happens it hurts. I wish instead that these friendships were a two-way thing. I feel alone and abandoned at a busy, stressful time of my life. This is why, in part, I am glad to have found this forum. Not that I want to selfishly take from you all, but hoping that I will receive a bit of listening and caring.

I hope that makes sense?
Please pray for me ~ even though I am full of joy at my little grandson's arrival, I feel abandoned by my friends, and sad.
AutumnRose xx
 :bighanky:

(http://www.saintsworks.net/forums/avatars/Our Lord/Christ - Promise.jpg)

You have my prayers!

Jesus Christ is the true Friend of Friends.. whenever in our friends they do something truly good for us it is through Him. . .

I will pray that they will be moved by grace to help you.. but don't rely on them for your happiness.. rely on Him.. sometimes He shows Himself through them.. other times He comes to us directly.. So often He works through people! But we don't see it!

I know that one way or another He will console you. He 'wipes away all our tears' and is our true heart's rest.

I think saints make things like resolutions never to expect anything from people.. and so.. when they do receive it.. they are pleasantly surprised and joyous in the Lord.. but detached.. their happiness does not depend on it.. But I understand where you are at.. especially being someone who counsels others.. you feel eventually you want to be the one being counselled.. But truly it is Christ who does the true good through you, when it is true good.. :D The advice I think is.. 'leave it be'.. whatever comes let it come.. I know I can't always do that.. but.. God helps..

And then sometimes the surprises happen.

I hope you find some little consolation here too..  Please feel better! Think of Christ everywhere. . . in all of us. . . I try my poor best!

 :harp: :harp: :harp: :violin: :flower:

Jesus, my heart's sole love, my heart's sole fear Thou art; My heart to Thee I give, give now to me Thy Heart.  :D

A prayer of Fr. F.X. Lasance, from the book, 'With God'.

You have my prayers also :+: and know that we are always here for you, take what you need (really!)...it's wonderful for each of us to be able to be the Hands and Ears and Shoulders of Him. And since you may need (S)someone in your corner physically, too, might I suggest getting to Mass and receiving the Eucharist whenever you can along with Adoration whenever you can (I know you're busy now, but even 10 minutes of Adoration will help you be stronger!). It really helps me and I'm usually too shy to even make friends, but He takes me just as I am - imperfections and all.

Thank you both for your kindness... :shy:
I did wonder if God was using this time to remove my dependancy on people, so that I will depend more fully on Him, His friendship, His grace. But it's a lonely place to be sometimes. Yet I know Jesus is always with me, and I have no real reason to be lonely!
I will try and spend this Lent offering up my onely feelings to God, and looking first to Him, instead of for human comfort.
Thanks for your prayers, I feel heard and understood!
 :tinyangel: :harp: :flower:

The Eucharist and Adoration really, really uplift me. If at all possible, please take advantage of them as often as possible.

I am limited as far as I work in the mornings and so can't always get to Mass except on Saturday/Sunday.
We only have adoration in my Parish Church during Advent/Lent, and always when I'm at work, but I travel to a Church an hour's journey away once a fortnight for confession, adoration & Mass. It does help, I know.
 :tinyangel:
Praying the Rosary also helps. I always feel my Mother is with me when I do, holding my hand. I love her so much! I try to pray it every day!

Maybe, since your a parishioner, the office would give you the key for Adoration in front of the tabernacle. It doesn't have to be the Eucharist exposed ('course if you can't do it, thats the way it is - He'll give you strength other ways). Just a thought. :shrug:

Oooh. This is a wonderful privilege!  :D

I send my prayers and love as well.  Sometimes even Church can be a lonely place. (just my experience) I desperately don't want to say the wrong thing.  Sometimes I can give spiritual reasons for things that are very ordinary.  I know it can be horrible to be lonely, I will start being lonely again as my daughter goes back to school in 2 days.  Please feel free to come to this site and someone will be here!  Since there's more than one of us you won't have to worry about burning us out.  And you'll get lots of different views on things which I think is usually a good thing.  God Bless You and may Our Lady wrap you in Her Mantle. :+:

I'll add my prayers for you, Fred. I know how lonely it is when a child leaves! Even who' I see my grandkids every couple weeks, I still stay in bed the day after since I don't see any reason to get up.
And AutumnRose, I really know the lost and abandoned feeling from fair weather friends (or those that may seem like it). I'm still praying for you.  :+:

May our Lord comfort you and let you experience Him in a most special and most intimate way to take away your loneliness.  May His dereliction on the cross help you not feel so alone in your feelings of abandonment and bring you to a greater peace and understanding of what it means to live and suffer as a true Christian.  The Way of the Cross is the way of the Christian and it is his means to salvation...Jesus is calling you to carry this cross of abandonment to help you share with Him His bitter cross and sufferings so He can fill you with His love and friendship along your way to the joy of the Resurrection.  May you persevere in faith and in good works, and receive great love and support from us here on these forums, while praying earnestly to our Lord for more love with which to love the souls who are hurting you and not giving you much love in return.  Amen.

Amen amen. May the Lord keep true friendships alive, and true families together, on earth as it is in Heaven.

:tinyangel:

I just saw this AutumnRose.  How are you doing? 

Still struggling tbh, and you are the first person to spontaneously ask me how I am since the last post here, so thank you :bighanky:
I will take my cares to God at Mass this evening, and I always feel comforted by Jesus in the Eucharist.
But I wish my friends/family truly cared ~ my Mother, father, Sisters ~ none reach out to me or contact me or thank me for the little ways I try to keep in touch. But I know my husband loves, cares for and supports me, so I am more blessed than some :angelyellow:
Some days I am so tired it's hard to carry on doing the everyday little things, but God always gives me the strength. Mother Teresa said that we should give until it hurts, so that it is sacrificial, and I know that's true! I try, and keep trying...
God bless you all xx

I am sorry you are still having a hard time.  I think the others here are most interested and want to be supportive but sometimes we miss posts; like you missed mine on the hobby thread!   ;D  And mine on the sp. warfare thread seemed overlooked or no one could relate, so I took it off.  So I don't think it's that people don't care or are uninterested.

If it helps, I just got through telling my sp dir about the same thing Thursday with a few dribbled tears..... so I understand how you feel.  And of course he suggested I be a reader or a Eucharistic minister or join a ministry to bring communion to the home-bound or volunteer at one of the over 100 ministries in the parish...... but my situation is such that I can't do that....... and of course, more dribbled tears.  And that is probably why I chat a bit here.  But maybe also we don't often see that other people care in ways we are not noticing..... because they are not caring as we think they should.  At least that is true for me..... so I look for that in family and friends and I sometimes razz on them for being too busy to take time to foster a fun relationship....... it works if I razz almost in fun.  I finally got a response from a woman I am trying to get to know here.  In any case,  I am glad you are here Autumn Rose and I know others are glad too.     :pathead:  So please stay and enjoy coffee.  That  was such a good idea and has the most hits on this forum.   :thumbsup:

I have been thinking/praying for you all the time and I'm sorry  :imsorry: I haven't posted it. That is probably true for the others here, too. You are valued and cared for. You definitely aren't alone in your feelings!

Bailey, I'm so sorry you felt that way. :( I read your  post on the spiritual warfare and really didn't understand it. When I read it I thought that you may be a psychologist or counselor, and didn't feel I had the knowledge to respond to that, without sounding stupid. The same goes with your posts on sports. Its just beyond my understanding. :confuzed:

Autumn Rose, know that I remember you and everyone in this forum and pray for all your intentions. Sometimes I may overlook or may not respond, but you are truly my friends. Like you I have no one inquiring about me, except my poor mother who calls me from India twice a week just to give me courage to carry on. The ones whom I had considered my closest keep a distance because of my situation. The only ones who are concerned are a couple neighbors and friends who have been a blessing and my friends on the Saints forum. Would you believe you are the first ones I informed when I passed the TABE test and then called my mom. ;D

Patricia, no worries!!   :angelyellow:   

Autumn Rose, see how we are all alike!   :thumbsup: :kanpai: :angelblue:

Just to clarify, I didn't mean to say others hadn't responded here, I was already very much encouraged by their posts earlier on in the thread. What I meant was that no-one in real life has thought to ask after me recently. Sorry it "read" wrong! Everyone here has been very caring, so thanks to you all :tinyangel:
Hope that clears things up!
I will go and look at the hobby thread now! ;)

Really, really hope I didn't upset anyone! :imsorry:  

I'm sorry, AutumnRose, that you are sad.  Know that you are not alone and that others, like myself, have experienced similar circumstances.  You'll find true happiness in not expecting these people who hurt you to change and in seeking your comfort in your relationship with God, in your relationship with your loving husband, and in things related to God and his Church (like spiritual reading, adoration, Mass, EWTN, a good spiritual director and confessor, us on this forum, etc.).  Just  still love the people who hurt you by praying for them and by being good to them whenever you see them, but don't expect consolations from them - expect them from God...and when he doesn't send consolations expect them to be coming.  Continue to be there for these people when they need you and keep loving generously, but if it hurts you that you are the only one to initiate contact with them, then try focusing more on reaching out to God and less on reaching out to others over the phone...you might even find that someone will be moved to call you because they miss you and want to hear your voice. 

You are in my prayers, AutumnRose.  May God comfort you and lead you more intimately down the road of a true Christian on her way to becoming a saint (a walk laden with great pain, suffering, and love unreturned).  May he fill you with his love and change you to even love being abandoned by others...because by this dereliction you truly will have been given the opportunity to imitate his Son more closely and the opportunity to prove your love for Him in patience, detachment and humility.

Peace and God bless!

Thank you for those wise and wonderful words of comfort, Therese. I feel the Holy Spirit speaking to me through them :littlewings:

You are most welcome, AutumnRose! :)

It is so easy to have misunderstandings especially when our communication is just in writing. Everything is cleared up. Don't worry.  :pathead:

Yup, we're fine.

Amen. :) Praying and praying!  :D