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Title: Jokes for the Day: Weddings Post by: Shin on September 27, 2010, 06:04:46 PM Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
The mother replied, "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.." The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?" .... A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please don't shove me either!" .... An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead." .... A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup." ... When a customer slid into the barber chair, the barber asked him how he wanted his hair cut. "Make it short," the customer replied, "with a bare patch above my left ear, but longer on the right side so that it covers my right ear. I also want my left sideburn above my left ear and the right sideburn below my right ear." The barber looked puzzled and said, "I don't think I can do that." The customer replied, "I don't know why not--that's the way you cut it the last time I was here!" :o :D Title: Re: Jokes for the Day: Weddings Post by: Brigid on September 27, 2010, 06:11:44 PM :rotfl: :rotflblue: :happyroll: :happyroll:
I especially loved the "black" and the "back-up" ones. Title: Re: Jokes for the Day: Weddings Post by: Patricia on September 27, 2010, 06:16:32 PM Quote A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup." Ha Ha! Love this one. Hope my children feel that way someday :D Title: Re: Jokes for the Day: Weddings Post by: Shin on September 27, 2010, 06:17:18 PM Hurrah! Good to see you Patricia! :cheers:
Title: Re: Jokes for the Day: Weddings Post by: Patricia on September 27, 2010, 06:20:54 PM Nice to see the whole gang is here! ;D
Title: Re: Jokes for the Day: Weddings Post by: Shin on September 27, 2010, 06:45:12 PM It's good to be here! :D
A Short History of Medicine "Doctor, I have an ear ache." 2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root." 1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer." 1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion." 1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill." 1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic." 2004 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!" Title: Re: Jokes for the Day: Weddings Post by: Brigid on September 27, 2010, 06:57:22 PM It's good to be here! :D A Short History of Medicine "Doctor, I have an ear ache." 2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root." 1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer." 1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion." 1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill." 1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic." 2004 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!" Yup, that about covers it. |