m   

Lord, my love, I need confidence to go after a job and to get a job and keep it.  Thank you!

This came in my email today.


Enjoy!

PUNOGRAPHY

I don't enjoy computer jokes; not one bit.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro: what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh, deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

[Moderator: Minor Edit]

Almighty and Eternal God,
Healer of those who trust in You,
through the merits of Jesus Christ Your Son,
hear our prayers for Apollo
In Your tender mercy, restore him to bodily and mental health,
that he may give You thanks, praise Your Holy Name
and proclaim Your wondrous love to all.
Amen!

For all our parents, especially Shin's mother!
Remember, O most loving Virgin Mary,
that never was it known,
that anyone who fled to your protection,
implored your help, or sought your intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence,
though burdened by my sins,
I fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother.
To you I come, before you I stand,
sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions, but in your mercy,
hear and answer me.
Amen.

Pat is much improved and doing well for one her age!  Thank you so much for all your prayers! 

So, simply, it is because he was sleeping on the job???  (after this try I quit -- too humiliating)

ok, how about the whole situation reawaken the rich man's faith and he decided to sell all and live a life of poverty and no longer have servants??

um, well, if he was the night watchmen, he shouldn't have been asleep dreaming -- so it wasn't a dream he had -- perhaps he was one of the terrorists -- so he should be fired as an evil person?

It's a dumb one alright!

If you are not too good, you could find yourself out before you know it!

I can do that!

ok...
You are trapped in a room with no way out.
All you have with you is a baseball bat and a baseball.
How do you get out?

How do you measure short to make it more long than long?

When is the only time yesterday comes after tomorrow?

A man went to start his bath but just has he started to take off his clothes he realized the door had locked itself. There were no windows and the bathroom is flooding fast!. How does he prevent himself from drowning?

The only thing I can think of is that a snake has a forked tongue and eats with it in his mouth every day...

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection,
implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother;
to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions,
but in thy mercy hear and answer me.
Amen.

Dear Father in Heaven,
Thank you for the good health you have blessed me with.
Please allow me to share it with this precious girl who already shares my name.
All gifts, all health, all goodness comes from You, dear loving God,
and we praise You for them all!
Because of the great love You have for Rachel, please heal her!
Thank you!
Amen!