I agree Shin.  The non-acceptance makes things worse.

This is one of the best little books I have ever read.  It helped me through the beginning part of my divorce.  I have gotten away from remembering this and reading it again on the forum has reminded me.

I need to get it out and read it again.

Thanks for all the prayers.  It has been a long time.

The divorce is now final.    My youngest 2 still want o become saints.   The 2 oldest now talk to me quite a bit.  I have one that still won't talk to me.

I have made the transition to full time (outside the home) working mom.

I will be getting a new house soon.

I still struggle with anger towards the ex and what he has done to me and the kids.

Please keep praying for me.

Our Father....
Hail Mary....
Glory Be.....

Amen.

Thanks for all the prayers. 

[One key to the above statement for example is 'gratify curiosity' I think. Do you go away with more virtue and knowledge, or is it all experiential, inciting passions and waiting for the next turn of a plot, that ultimately leaves one empty of everything good, it was only all stimulation of the passions.]]

'The crafty enemies of the Church and human society attempt to seduce the people in many ways. One of their chief methods is the misuse of the new technique of book-production. They are wholly absorbed in the ceaseless daily publication and proliferation of impious pamphlets, newspapers and leaflets which are full of lies, calumnies and seduction. Furthermore, under the protection of the Bible Societies which have long since been condemned by this Holy See, they distribute to the faithful under the pretext of religion, the holy bible in vernacular translations. Since these infringe the Church's rules, they are consequently subverted and most daringly twisted to yield a vile meaning. So you realize very well what vigilant and careful efforts you must make to inspire in your faithful people an utter horror of reading these pestilential books. Remind them explicitly with regard to divine scripture that no man, relying on his own wisdom, is able to claim the privilege of rashly twisting the scriptures to his own meaning in opposition to the meaning which holy mother Church holds and has held.'

Pope Bl. Pius IX

'What I shall now speak of was, I believe, the beginning of great harm to me. I often think how wrong it is of parents not to be very careful that their children should always, and in every way, see only that which is good; for though my mother was, as I have just said, so good herself, nevertheless I, when I came to the use of reason, did not derive so much good from her as I ought to have done -- almost none at all; and the evil I learned did me much harm. She was very fond of books of chivalry; but this pastime did not hurt her so much as it hurt me, because she never wasted her time on them; only we, her children, were left at liberty to read them; and perhaps she did this to distract her thoughts from her great sufferings, and occupy her children, that they might not go astray in other ways. It annoyed my father so much, that we had to be careful he never saw us. I contracted a habit of reading these books; and this little fault which I observed in my mother was the beginning of lukewarmness in my good desires, and the occasion of my falling away in other respects. I thought there was no harm in it when I wasted many hours night and day in so vain an occupation, even when I kept it a secret from my father. So completely was I mastered by this passion, that I thought I could never be happy without a new book.'

St. Teresa of Jesus

'The reading of spiritual works is as profitable as the reading of bad books is noxious. As the former has led to the conversion of many sinners, so the latter is every day the ruin of many young persons. The first author of pious books is the Spirit of God; but the author of pernicious writings is the devil, who often artfully conceals from certain persons the poison that such works contain, and makes these persons believe that the reading of such books is necessary in order to speak well, and to acquire a knowledge of the world for their own direction, or at least in order to pass the time agreeably. But I say that, especially for nuns, nothing is more pernicious than the reading of bad books. And by bad books I mean not only those that are condemned by the Holy See, either because they contain heresy, or treat of subjects opposed to chastity, but also all books that treat of worldly love. What fervor can a religious have if she reads romances, comedies, or profane poetry? What recollection can she have in meditation or at Communion? Can she be called the spouse of Jesus Christ? Should she not rather be called the spouse of a sinful world? Even young women in the world that are in the habit of reading such books are generally not virtuous seculars.

But some one may say, What harm is there in reading romances and profane poetry when they contain nothing immodest? Do you ask what harm? Behold the harm: the reading of such works kindles the concupiscence of the senses, and awakens the passions; these easily gain the consent of the will, or at least render it so weak that when the occasion of any dangerous affection occurs the devil finds the soul already prepared to allow itself to be conquered. A wise author has said that by the reading of such pernicious books heresy has made, and makes every day, great progress; because such reading has given and gives increased strength to libertinism. The poison of these books enters gradually into the soul; it first makes itself master of the understanding, then infects the will, and in the end kills the soul. The devil finds no means more efficacious and secure of sending a young person to perdition than the reading of such poisoned works.'

St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori

'Remember also that for you certain useless books, though not bad, will be pernicious; because they will make you lose the time that you can employ in occupations profitable to the soul. In a letter to his disciple Eustochium, St. Jerome stated for her instruction that in his solitude at Bethlehem he was attached to the works of Cicero, and frequently read them, and that he felt a certain disgust for pious books because their style was not polished. He was seized with a serious malady, in which he saw himself at the tribunal of Jesus Christ. The Lord said to him: "Tell me; what are you?" "I am," replied the saint, "a Christian." "No," rejoined the Judge, "you are a Ciceronian, not a Christian." He then commanded him to be instantly scourged. The saint promised to correct his fault, and having returned from the vision he found his shoulders livid and covered with wounds in consequence of the chastisement that he had received. Thenceforward he gave up the works of Cicero, and devoted himself to the reading of books of piety. It is true that in the works like those of Cicero we sometimes find useful sentiments; but the same St. Jerome wisely said in a letter to another disciple: "What need have you of seeking for a little gold in the midst of so much mire," when you can read pious books in which you may find all gold without any mire?'

St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori

'As the reading of bad books fills the mind with worldly and poisonous sentiments; so, on the other hand, the reading of pious works fills the soul with holy thoughts and good desires.'

St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori

'To instruct children from pagan books is not only to teach them useless things, it is to take them from God, and sacrifice them to the Demon. What are all these things but wind and smoke? Are there no other means by which to cultivate the mind, to give the tongue eloquence? Thy praises, Lord, so eloquently sung in the Scriptures, would have elevated, would have fixed, my feeble heart, and prevented its becoming a prey to unclean birds. Ah! there is more than one way of sacrificing man to demons . . . Is it thus, then, that the child should be trained up? Are those the models that should be presented to him? In acting thus you offer neither birds, nor animals, nor human blood even, you offer what is much more abominable, you immolate the young on the altar of Satan.'

St. Augustine

'All that proceeds from heretics should be suspected, especially books, however good they may be.'

St. Ignatius of Loyola

'The poison which is found in books soon infects the whole mind, if one does not check it from the first.'

St. Ignatius of Loyola

'This is a good rule of conduct, to do nothing but what we can offer to the good God. Now, we cannot offer to Him slanders, calumnies, injustice, anger, blasphemy, impurity, night clubs, dancing; yet that is all that people do in the world. Speaking of dances, St. Francis of Sales used to say that "they were like mushrooms, the best were good for nothing." Mothers are apt to say indeed, "Oh, I watch over my daughters." They watch over their attire, but they cannot watch over their hearts. . . Ah, if they well understood this responsibility they would never have any dances. Just like those who make bad pictures and statues, or write bad books, they will have to answer for all the harm that these things will do during all the time they last.'

St. Jean Marie Baptiste Vianney, the Cure of Ars

'Never read books you aren't sure about. . . even supposing that these bad books are very well written from a literary point of view. Let me ask you this: Would you drink something you knew was poisoned just because it was offered to you in a golden cup?'

St. John Bosco

'Read good and useful books, and abstain from reading those that only gratify curiosity.'

St. Vincent de Paul

[One key to the above statement for example is 'gratify curiosity' I think. Do you go away with more virtue and knowledge, or is it all experiential, inciting passions and waiting for the next turn of a plot, that ultimately leaves one empty of everything good, it was only all stimulation of the passions.]

I have been debating on whether or not to keep a single TV show that I like the plot of, but it does have some problems.  This quote gives me something to think about in evalutating it.

Thank you.

Joyful Mother, I'm so sorry to hear about what has happened to you. I'm praying for you, but is there anything else any of us can do?

The good thing is that you have 2 kids who want to be saints.

Not unless you can supply money.   He is paying the house note & utilities, but refuses any cash for me to buy groceries or fill the car with gas.  People from my parish have been helping sooooo much.  I have been given groceries, some cash, new clothes, and had maintenance done on my house that my husband never did.  Fixing windows, plumbing, and one couple did 20 HOURS of yard work that he had left undone over the years.  I have a decent yard again!  Now I just have to maintain it.

So many people have helped me & I am so grateful.

Just pray I get some money soon, because I literally don't have but a single dollar to my name.  I don't know how I will fill the car with gas on Friday. 

I am looking for a job, but even if I get one tomorrow, I won't get paid in time.

And I can't believe that I have 2 kids who want to be saints!  Deo Gratias!

I am back after a period of absence.  I thank you, first of all, for any prayers you offered for me while I was gone.

Now to the topic:

My husband left me about 10 weeks ago, with no notice, and took all the kids.  By the time I saw the oldest ones again, they were so mad at me that they will still not talk to me.

The youngest 2 are with me now.  Both of them pray daily to become saints! (BTW - I can take no credit for that - they pray for that on their own!  I didn't teach them to pray for that!)

He has now filed for divorce, after 16 yrs.  He does not seem to be interested at all in a reconciliation.  He is also trying to say I am mentally ill and asking for SOLE custody of all the kids.  My family helped me retain a lawyer, who I don't think has been very good.  I am looking for a job, but have no money as I have been a stay at home mom for 15 yrs now.  He pays the house note and utilities, no grocery or gas money.

Right now, I don't have a dime to my name.

The irony of it all is all of this happened the week after I prayed that God would purify me no matter the cost.  Somehow, God is allowing all of this to happen for a purpose that I do not understand & maybe never will.

I am struggling with looking at my husband's flaws instead of my own.  I am trying to focus on what I need to do to go forward and how God is asking me to change & grow instead of focusing on him.  When I focus on my husband and what he did, I tend to be bitter and angry....which I can't believe is what God wants for me.

I am struggling to forgive him and to not shut down emotionally.

I am trying to remain strong for the children who are with me and to keep them out of it as much as possible.  I need to pray for the oldest ones to turn their hearts toward me again - they are very angry with me for some reason.  I really don't understand it.

Pray for my husband and my children.

Pray that I will listen for the Lord and do His will in all things.

Thanks.
 

I don't have a quote, but am using this to mark this thread for myself as these words of encouragement from the saints are what I dearly need right now.

Hi there all!  I know I haven't been here for a long time!

On the TV front, I have given it up almost completely.  I have 1 single show that pulls me in, that started it's new season yesterday.  I am debating whether or not the show is worth it.

In the last 9 weeks, I have watched only about 3 children's movies and then played a few favorite songs from them.

You're going to ask - what about your TV addicted family?

Well, that has changed quite a bit & I need your prayers.

My husband left 9 weeks ago today, no warning, and took all 5 kids, saying he would bring them back after the weekend.  When I saw them again, the oldest 3 don't want anything to do with me.  I don't know what was said, etc.

My 2 youngest, who love God dearly and want nothing more than to be saints, are living with me. 

I can now create the Catholic home I have always wanted.  Morning prayers & a saint story over breakfast, homework & playtime after school, supper together, clean up together, then games or time outside or homemade playdough - simple pleasures have become our life.  We play together, work together, pray together, laugh together, sometimes cry together.

Please pray that I can guide my little ones through this very rough time and that God will protect their innocent little hearts.

But the best thing to come out of all of this is NO TV!

I am considering a Blu-Ray player & Netflix, but haven't decided.  We don't watch anything except appropriate movies but since I am fighting a custody battle now & don't want the husband alleging I am depriving the kids of something, I am thinking of this as a compromise until custody is settled.  Cable, phone & internet costs $140 or so per month.  If I get phone & internet for $40 (kids school demands internet for assignments) and Netflix for $8, I can save a bundle.

Video games are almost non-existent.

Internet still pulls me in, but I am down to 3 or 4 blogs, e-mail, 1 other forum besides this one, and job searching.  I am spending more time on the phone as I call friends and talk to them about all that is going on.  Eventually, I need to slow down on that, but I get a lot of advice & encouragement right now as I try to rebuild my life.

17 days straight so far!  THey say it takes 21- at least - to build a habit.  I am going to say 8 weeks for good measure.  I am sending Father an e-mail to ask his advice on how long to wait before building on this foundation & what I should add next.

 

I still find myself in the position of trying to balance a TV addicted family & my own desire to watch as little as possible.  I still have a handful of shows I will watch with them as a compromise.

My bigger problem is the internet.  When they started watching TV last night, I came out here & spent about 2 to 3 hours surfing various Catholic websites & blogs.  Still less than what I was doing while they were in school because I was bored at home - I would spend almost all day on-line.   I need to cut back on this habit.

1 step at a time I guess.  I am building some basic habits of prayer - see my Rosary thread comments - and perhaps as this grows, the internet will become less.

Does anyone have suggestions on how to wean a family off TV?  What could I do or set up to do as a family that would get their attention and perhaps not even have them want to watch TV?  I ;mean, they watch because they are bored.  Suggestions anyone?

Might be a good idea.  I read it years ago & made my consecration, but haven't renewed it years.

So far, since Father gave me this advice, I have been able to do it every day - by the grace of God.  1 week!   Perhaps silly to be excited over something so small & basic, but I am not a particularly disciplined person, so for me this is huge!

Let's see if I can make it 2 weeks!

Since last Friday  - June 7, Feast of the Sacred Heart & First Friday both! - I have been blessed with the grace to say my prayers daily.

I went to confession that-day for First Friday & got told that I had no right to complain about anything going wrong in the Church (and I applied what Father said to the rest of my life as well - family, marriage, finances, children, etc...) if I can not meet a bare minimum of prayer that is essential for every Catholic..

Here are his essentials:
1) 3 Hail Mary's & a morning offering upon rising
2) 1 decade of the rosary daily - can be done as you are going to bed, doesn't matter, as long as you do it.
3) 3 Hail Mary's & an Act of Contrition at bedtime.  I am assuming a small examination of conscience before the Act of Contrition.

This takes less than 15 minutes a day & has already brought me much peace & willingness to do my daily duties as wife and mother with much less complaining.

I don't know how often I will be here now that I have all the kids home for summer vacation.  I may get here at night after they all go to bed.....

May God grant me the strength & perseverance to build this holy habit.

And of course, Father told me once I have this iron clad, we will build on it, because after all, it is what he considers the BARE MINIMUM!

Take Care & God Bless all of you.

Missed Sunday. 

Last night, said 1 decade with my 2 youngest children at bedtime. 

I have been off the internet the past 3 or 4 days at least, but, unfortunately, I replaced it with almost non-stop novel reading. 

That was actually MORE time consuming than the internet.

Quickly checking e-mails, this forum, & a couple of my favorite blogs today, then getting off.  Going to drop the books off in the drop box and not more trips to the library for now.

I think I use these things as an escape or entertainment.  I need to pray for more light to get to the root of this problem or I will constantly be replacing one bad habit with another instead of growing in virtue & grace.

Pray for me!

I have missed 3 or 4 days this week. 


Confession & mass today will hopefully give me the grace to begin again.

Missed Thursday. 

Got in 2 decades Friday, 1 Saturday.

I am at least attempting it.  It sure takes a lot of effort to establish a new habit. 

Hopefully, I get in  a whole 5 decades today before Mass.