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Saints' Discussion Forums  |  Forums  |  Everything Else  |  Topic: jokes for a Saturday morning 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
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Author Topic: jokes for a Saturday morning  (Read 5290 times)
RachelKH
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« on: November 20, 2010, 12:15:25 PM »
What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.

Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the gambling casino?
Because he was on a roll.

Why did the student eat his homework?
The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

What did the cannibal order for take-out?
Pizza with everyone on it.

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
Footprints in the cheesecake.

What's in an astronaut's favorite sandwich?
Launch meat.

What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?
Close the door, I'm dressing!

Where does a bat eat his dinner?
On home plate, and he has a ball.

How can you make seven even?
Remove the "S".

Why is Turtle Wax so expensive?
Because turtles have such tiny ears.

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
He thought it was a high school!

If April showers bring May flowers then what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!

What's in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jellybutton.

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming?
"Here come the elephants!"

Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
So he could be polyunsaturated.

What do mermaids have on toast?
Mermerlade

Why do elephants never forget?
Because nobody ever tells them anything

How do porcupines play leapfrog?
Very carefully.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2010, 02:28:06 PM by RachelKH » Logged
Heavenly Father help me to persevere, to strive where my will is weak, and to begin again where I have failed, that whatever I lack in love, I may put right in the trying. Amen.
RachelKH
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« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2010, 02:34:04 PM »
Theresa needed me to add one she just made up for you:

Why did the turtle cross the sea?
Because he was a seaturtle.

(again, you must laugh until you fall off your chair)
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Heavenly Father help me to persevere, to strive where my will is weak, and to begin again where I have failed, that whatever I lack in love, I may put right in the trying. Amen.
martin
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« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2010, 02:50:16 PM »
Quote
Why is Turtle Wax so expensive?
Because turtles have such tiny ears.

 rotfl happy roll

I was telling my youngest son your job jokes yesterday and he was asking if I had any more today. Will show him these ones, especially the turtle wax one. He's gonna love that.  Cheesy
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"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
(Galatians 2:20)
RachelKH
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« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2010, 02:54:35 PM »
glad to share -- the turtle and jellyfish ones are my favorite too.  none really good otherwise, but even a smile is good for the soul.
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Heavenly Father help me to persevere, to strive where my will is weak, and to begin again where I have failed, that whatever I lack in love, I may put right in the trying. Amen.
martin
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« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2010, 03:01:10 PM »
Here's one he told me ages ago.

Did you hear about the young cannibal?

He was eight (ate) before he was seven.  Cheesy
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"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
(Galatians 2:20)
Brigid
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« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2010, 03:46:48 PM »
Quote from: RachelKH on November 20, 2010, 02:34:04 PM
Theresa needed me to add one she just made up for you:

Why did the turtle cross the sea?
Because he was a seaturtle.

(again, you must laugh until you fall off your chair)
rotfl happy roll ...... oops!
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For where thy treasure is, there is thy heart also.
Matt. 6:21
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