Jokes and Riddles for today

[Shin]

What is the laziest mountain in the world?

Mount Ever - rest !!

What sort of a cat should you never play cards with?

A cheetah

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bull-dozer

. . . A man said to his water, "Waiter, this coffee is terrible, it tastes like dirt!"
The waiter replied, "Yes sir, it was ground yesterday!"

. . . A man said to his doctor, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep."
The doctor replied, "Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off."

A prisoner said to the prison doctor, "Look here, doc! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!"
. . . The doctor replied, "I am - bit by bit!"

 

[martin]

I think the first one must be mount everest.  Ever Rest.

And the second A Cheetah. As in cheater

Pondering the third one.   

[Brigid]

1) Yeah, I agree with Ever-rest

2) Lion

3) dangerous snoozing cow?


In the interests of charity I'll not mention the "jokes" 

[martin]

1) Yeah, I agree with Ever-rest

2) Lion

3) dangerous snoozing cow?


In the interests of charity I'll not mention the "jokes" 

Brigid where on earth did you come up with those answers? Hahaha 

Did you not think the coffee joke was quite funny? 

[Shin]

 

Looks like you and Martin both got it!

[Brigid]

1) Yeah, I agree with Ever-rest

2) Lion

3) dangerous snoozing cow?


In the interests of charity I'll not mention the "jokes" 

Brigid where on earth did you come up with those answers? Hahaha 

Did you not think the coffee joke was quite funny? 

#2 Lyin'
#3 ?


Yes, the coffee joke was cute.

[Patricia]

dangerous snoozing  cow?      

[Brigid]

Think creativity.

[RachelKH]

I still can't get this one about the sleeping bull?

so, instead i'll add a joke with a punch line, to rest our brains:

How to Get Into Heaven

A man dies and mets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Peter says to the man, "Here's how it works. You need to have one hundred points to get into heaven. You tell me about all the good things you've done. They are all worth a certain number of points. If your total is one hundred or more, you can come in."

"Well," says the man. "I was happily married to the same woman for 52 years. I never looked at another woman. I was attentive and loved her dearly."

"That's great," says St. Peter. "That'll be two points."

"Hmmm," says the man. "This is going to be harder than I thought. Well, I attended church regularly, volunteered my time and tithed faithfully."

"Wonderful," says St. Peter, "That's worth another point."

"One point!" says the man. "Okay, okay. I was involved with a prison ministry for twenty-five years. I went into the prison, at least monthly, and shared Jesus with them."

"Wow!" says St. Peter. "That's another two points!"

"Only two points!" says the man. "At this rate, it'll be only by the grace of God that'll I'll ever get into this place."

"Bingo!" says St. Peter. "That's one hundred points! Come on in."

 

[Brigid]

I love it, I love it, I love it.

[RachelKH]

ugh -- i cheated and got the bull one -- my girls will laugh when they hear it -- too simple and we couldn't get it at all!