Without going too much into specifics, exceptions, other general rules that effect this..
As a general rule, a person who is a great sinner, has less good effect on others despite his desires than a great saint. . . A great sinner praying for a miracle, might have to pray twenty years.. a great saint, twenty minutes..
Often we we tell people what is true, it bounces off them, because there is not enough grace behind the telling, not because what is told is not true.
We could speak to a crowd of people, tell them the truth.. no effect.. the saint walks to them, tells them the truth, people turn to God.
There has to be grace in what a person says, the more the better.. the prayer, the love, the spirit has to be there too.
But there are some things we can do, to make up for our lacking everything where we are on the journey.
Two things to focus on.. is to tell a person the matter for the genuine love and sake of God, not for the sake of other emotions, vulnerabilities, fears, etc.
And the other is to make sure what you tell, is told the way a saint would say it.
Now here's a trick..
The quotations of the saints.. So you do not know what to say. The saints did. It is true that what they said in one situation might not be the proper thing for your particular situation -- timing takes discernment, understanding the illness of the patient.. but it is also true it can be just that.. and that as they said it, it is what they would say -- it is proper to say it in general, as well. Which is more than can be said for much of what comes out of people's lips.
And here's the trick..
What the saints have said is beloved by God. There's a grace with it. You will get farther with it. Saying what they say, rather than what you would say. The substance of it.. the exact words..
It's like giving someone the name of the saint as a child.
Borrowed grace. Heaven notices. Heaven cares. Blessed objects, holy ground.. holy words.
It works. Give it a try.
This is a little gift to those desire it.
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