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Saints' Discussion Forums  |  Forums  |  Everything Else  |  Topic: Joke for the Day: A Doctor and a Lawyer 0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic. « previous next »
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Author Topic: Joke for the Day: A Doctor and a Lawyer  (Read 39311 times)
Shin
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« on: June 25, 2011, 05:49:22 PM »
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

 Shocked  Roll Eyes
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
Maria Margaret
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« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2011, 08:31:32 PM »
 rotfl
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'Whatsoever we do, we can never be true children of Mary, unless we are humble.'

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« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2011, 01:25:58 PM »
[groan] Grin
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Shin
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« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2011, 02:50:18 PM »

A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says.

"Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks.

"10..." says the doctor.

"10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately.

"10...9...8...7..."

 speachless
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RachelKH
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« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2011, 08:15:35 AM »
 Grin Grin Grin
gotta share the first one w/ my boss...
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Heavenly Father help me to persevere, to strive where my will is weak, and to begin again where I have failed, that whatever I lack in love, I may put right in the trying. Amen.
martin
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« Reply #5 on: June 27, 2011, 02:04:47 PM »
Quote from: Brigid on June 26, 2011, 01:25:58 PM
[groan] Grin

Brigid that was quite good by Shin's standards. You should be giving him encouragement when he produces a funny one.  happy roll rotfl happy roll
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Shin
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« Reply #6 on: June 27, 2011, 03:36:31 PM »
Quote from: RachelKH on June 27, 2011, 08:15:35 AM
Grin Grin Grin
gotta share the first one w/ my boss...

Ho ho! Depending on what line of work one is in it could be a dangerous one to share with one's boss!  Grin

Quote
You should be giving him encouragement when he produces a funny one.

 shy

Ok, let's see.. how about. . .

Ronan kept going to the ophthalmic doctor because his eye hurt and the doctor finally discovered his problem. . .

The Doc told him, 'Your eye hurts when you drink tea, so you can't drink tea.'

Ronan stuttered, 'But I love tea!'  lovemug

The doctor replied, 'Okay. . . as long as you take the spoon out.'

  Shocked  Cheesy
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Maria Margaret
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« Reply #7 on: June 27, 2011, 04:44:30 PM »
 rotfl Haha, funny!

Pretty good ones, eh?  Cheesy
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RachelKH
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« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2011, 07:52:05 PM »
Shin -- my boss is a lawyer!

I was just admonishing my Susy to take the spoon out of her tea today!  I said it just wasn't classy and was dangerous too.  She didn't believe me until she got her eye poked in a distracted moment!
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Heavenly Father help me to persevere, to strive where my will is weak, and to begin again where I have failed, that whatever I lack in love, I may put right in the trying. Amen.
martin
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« Reply #9 on: September 03, 2011, 09:19:42 AM »
This one made me laugh.

A skeleton goes into a bar. The bar tender asks. "What can I get you sir?"
Skeleton:  "Could I have a pint of Guiness and a mop."   Cheesy
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(Galatians 2:20)
Shin
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« Reply #10 on: September 03, 2011, 12:39:00 PM »
Thanks Martin! You gave me a chuckle!

 Grin
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Patricia
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« Reply #11 on: September 03, 2011, 02:52:27 PM »
All are hilarious!  Grin big grin
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« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2011, 07:28:22 PM »
A Joke for the Day:

A man was getting annoyed while waiting and shouted upstairs to his wife, "Hurry up or we'll be late."
. . . "Oh, have patience," replied his wife. "Haven't I been telling you for the last hour that I'll be ready in a minute?"

A Riddle for the Day:

There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left?
. . . 2 birds. The other 3 fly away!

Answer above in invisible ink!

 Cheesy
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
Shin
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« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2011, 07:43:48 PM »
Looks like the riddle is too tough.  Grin
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
Shin
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« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2011, 07:45:37 PM »
A guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear and a piece of celery up his nose.

He says: "Doc, I don't know what's wrong with me!" The doctor thinks for a while, and finally says "Bingo! I know what's wrong with you!"

The patient says "Really? What is it?".

. . .

"You're not eating right!"
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
martin
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« Reply #15 on: September 12, 2011, 08:21:36 PM »
Quote from: Shin on September 12, 2011, 07:45:37 PM
A guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear and a piece of celery up his nose.

He says: "Doc, I don't know what's wrong with me!" The doctor thinks for a while, and finally says "Bingo! I know what's wrong with you!"

The patient says "Really? What is it?".

. . .

"You're not eating right!"

Hahaha... Can't wait to tell this one to my youngest son in the morning. He's always asking me if I've any new jokes?  Cheesy

I gave into temptation and had a peek at the riddle answer.  Grin
So obvious when you know.  silent
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"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
(Galatians 2:20)
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