Joke for the Day: A Doctor and a Lawyer

[James - a humble servant]

Haaaaaa,ha,ha,ha !!!

Good one !   

[odhiambo]

The 98 year old Mother Superior  was dying.
The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.
 They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused.
Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen.
 Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
 Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips.
 Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you die."
She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face said,
"Don't sell that cow"!.

From Catholic Jokes

[odhiambo]

Jesuit Joke
What is similar about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders?
Well, they were both founded by Spaniards, St. Dominic for the Dominicans, and St. Ignatius of Loyola for the Jesuits. They were also both founded to combat heresy: the Dominicans to fight the Albigensians, and the Jesuits to fight the Protestants.
What is different about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders?
Well, have you met any Albigensians lately?

[Shin]

 

[martin]

That cow joke was really funny. 

[Shin]

A man and his wife were having a debate about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "You should do it, it's in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says: "HEBREWS"

[odhiambo]

A man and his wife were having a debate about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "You should do it, it's in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says: "HEBREWS"

And so it does. Clever woman 
That's a nice one Shin, I like it.

[Shin]

Glad to hear it!

Here's another!

A priest is standing outside of after Mass one Sunday shaking hands when a parishioner comes up to him and says, "Father, I don't know what to do. My finances are a mess. Collectors call me day and night. My wife has left me because of it and my children don't respect me any more. I'm don't believe my life is worth living anymore."

The priest says, "My dear son, go home, open the Bible to any page, point and read what it says."

The next week the preist spots the man after Mass and asks him how things are going.

"Great Father! Thanks for the advice. It worked like a miracle. The collectors stopped calling, my wife has returned to me and my kids once again respect me."

"Oh really, what did you read?" asked the priest.

The man responded, "Chapter 7."

[Shin]

This one might be a too U.S. Centric joke tho! 

[Shin]

To make up for it!

An American, a South African, an Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Kiwi, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Korean, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, a Brazilian, and a Canadian walk into a high class restaurant.

The waiter says, "Sorry, guys: I can't let you in without a Thai."

[odhiambo]

This one might be a too U.S. Centric joke tho! 

You are right Shin, "too U.S centric"
But this is the age of information Shin. I gather he filed a Chapter 7 case ?

[Shin]

There you go! Over here everyone's heard of 'Chapter 7 Bankrupcy'! 

[odhiambo]

To make up for it!

An American, a South African, an Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Kiwi, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Korean, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, a Brazilian, and a Canadian walk into a high class restaurant.

The waiter says, "Sorry, guys: I can't let you in without a Thai."

This one is a rib cracker, I just burst out laughing and guess what? It is 1.23 am. People are asleep. I hope I have not woken up anybody. 

[Shin]

Haha!

Plenty early over here so no danger!

 

[odhiambo]

There you go! Over here everyone's heard of 'Chapter 7 Bankrupcy'! 

On a serious note, I am one of those people who believe that one can, at times, especially times of great stress, be guided by just opening the Bible at random and reading what one is led to read. It happened to me once and it was quite an experience.

[Shin]

If you wish for a priceless secret, Saints' Quotes works the same way.