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Saints' Discussion Forums  |  Forums  |  Everything Else  |  Topic: Joke for the Day: A Doctor and a Lawyer 0 Members and 5 Guests are viewing this topic. « previous next »
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Author Topic: Joke for the Day: A Doctor and a Lawyer  (Read 39313 times)
odhiambo
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« Reply #48 on: March 14, 2012, 06:38:23 PM »

I hope this one has not been posted already.
Here we go:
Two Jesuit novices both wanted a cigarette while they prayed.
 They decided to ask their superior for permission.
The first asked but was told no.
 A little while later he spotted his friend smoking and praying.
 "Why did the superior allow you to smoke and not me?" he asked.
 His friend replied, "Because you asked if you could smoke while you prayed, and I asked if I could pray while I smoked!"
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Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
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Shin
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« Reply #49 on: March 14, 2012, 06:39:28 PM »

Ho ho!

 Roll Eyes

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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
Patricia
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« Reply #50 on: March 14, 2012, 06:42:07 PM »

All the jokes are priceless!!  Cheesy

Quote
If you wish for a priceless secret, Saints' Quotes works the same way.

I truly agree!
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'His mother saith to the servants: Whatsoever he shall say to you, do ye.'
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odhiambo
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« Reply #51 on: March 14, 2012, 07:14:12 PM »

You could be right about the links. I was quoting your previous post above which has the link to the Saints'Quotes.
Fingers crossed. Here I go, minus the link  Grin
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
Shin
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« Reply #52 on: March 14, 2012, 07:18:07 PM »

Ah-ha!

Hmm. I had not thought of that! I shall have to make a note of it in the announcements RE: links.

I would like to program things to be a little more flexible with the link-blocker, but at the moment, this is all we've got, and will have for the immediate future. It blocks links, and it blocks them all, except for the Administrator, and it gives a rather non-informative error message in the process.
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
odhiambo
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« Reply #53 on: March 14, 2012, 07:23:28 PM »

Ah-ha!

Hmm. I had not thought of that! I shall have to make a note of it in the announcements RE: links.

I would like to program things to be a little more flexible with the link-blocker, but at the moment, this is all we've got, and will have for the immediate future. It blocks links, and it blocks them all, except for the Administrator, and it gives a rather non-informative error message in the process.


That is just fine with me. I do not mind at all; links, no links, I am happy Smiley
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
odhiambo
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« Reply #54 on: March 14, 2012, 07:25:28 PM »

Ok. Shin.
Off for a little shut eye before duty calls tomorrow.
The Lord be with you! crucifix
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
Shin
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« Reply #55 on: March 14, 2012, 07:29:59 PM »

Good night and God keep!
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
odhiambo
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« Reply #56 on: March 15, 2012, 05:19:35 PM »

Sample this:
Once upon a time there lived a very rich and powerful man.
He had many employees.
It so happened that the rich man was invited to attend a conference overseas.
His flight was booked and he was looking forward to the journey as he was a man who loved traveling and visiting places of interest in other lands.
Very early in the morning, on the day he was to fly out, he was having breakfast when he was told his night watchman was seeking audience with him.
He agreed to see the man and find out what he wanted.
When he came in, the watchman looked agitated. He told the rich man, pleaded with him in fact, not to take the flight already booked but to change to another. When pressed to explain himself, he agitatedly said that he had a very terrifying dream that night. He saw the aeroplane that his master was to travel in burst into flames in mid air; it was so real for him that he felt it was a warning to his master.
The rich man thought for a moment and decided to take the matter seriously. He thanked his worker for the warning. He managed to book another flight and traveled later the same day.
Before the day was over, the dream did indeed come to pass.  News of an air disaster was on every lip, on every radio and TV station. It happened exactly as the dreamer had described it. It seemed some terrorists  had hijacked the plane in mid air; something went horribly wrong and the plane was blown up. No one really knew the details.
The rich man came home much shaken by the whole tragedy and the fact that but for his watchman, he would now be dead.
He called his worker, thanked him for saving his life, rewarded him handsomely but dismissed him from his service.
Why? Huh?
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
Shin
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« Reply #57 on: March 15, 2012, 05:45:39 PM »

This one took some thought..

But I -think- I have it!

I will wait and see what others think first.  irishwisdom
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
odhiambo
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« Reply #58 on: March 16, 2012, 02:56:51 AM »

This one took some thought..

But I -think- I have it!

I will wait and see what others think first.  irishwisdom

I am glad you figured it out so quickly  Grin
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
RachelKH
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« Reply #59 on: March 16, 2012, 10:02:18 AM »

um, well, if he was the night watchmen, he shouldn't have been asleep dreaming -- so it wasn't a dream he had -- perhaps he was one of the terrorists -- so he should be fired as an evil person?
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Heavenly Father help me to persevere, to strive where my will is weak, and to begin again where I have failed, that whatever I lack in love, I may put right in the trying. Amen.
odhiambo
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« Reply #60 on: March 16, 2012, 10:37:49 AM »

um, well, if he was the night watchmen, he shouldn't have been asleep dreaming -- so it wasn't a dream he had -- perhaps he was one of the terrorists -- so he should be fired as an evil person?

Hmmmyeeesnooo! Grin
Very, very good try Rachel. Look at it from another angle, I am sure you will get it then Grin
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
RachelKH
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« Reply #61 on: March 16, 2012, 11:53:33 AM »

ok, how about the whole situation reawaken the rich man's faith and he decided to sell all and live a life of poverty and no longer have servants??
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Heavenly Father help me to persevere, to strive where my will is weak, and to begin again where I have failed, that whatever I lack in love, I may put right in the trying. Amen.
Shin
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« Reply #62 on: March 16, 2012, 12:03:14 PM »

Haha, I think the key part is his job Rachel!   rotfl blue
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
RachelKH
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« Reply #63 on: March 16, 2012, 12:25:52 PM »

So, simply, it is because he was sleeping on the job???  (after this try I quit -- too humiliating)
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Heavenly Father help me to persevere, to strive where my will is weak, and to begin again where I have failed, that whatever I lack in love, I may put right in the trying. Amen.
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