Laughter, The Best Medicine!

[Brigid]

Oh....no.....!

[odhiambo]

Here is another funny story passed on from one of my MailCircle members.
Enjoy!

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also." The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high." 

[Brigid]

Groan.....

[Shin]

 

 

[Patricia]

Ha ha!

[odhiambo]

My Favorite Animal
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal
was, and I said, "Fried chicken." 
She said I wasn't funny, but
she couldn't have been right, because everyone else
laughed.   My parents told me to always tell the
 truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what
 happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of
PETA.   He said they love
animals very much.   I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and
 beef.   Anyway, my teacher
sent me to the principal's office. 
I told him what happened, and he
laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher
asked me what my favorite   live
 animal was. 
I told her it was chicken. She
asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make
them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's
office. He laughed, and told me not to do it
again.   I don't
understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my
teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her
what famous person I admired most.   I told her,
"Colonel Sanders." 
 Guess where I am now...

[Shin]

Haha!

 

[odhiambo]

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste those beats on exercise. Everything will wear out eventually. Speeding up heart will not make you live longer; this is like saying you can extend life of car by driving faster. If you want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no! Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is just distilled wine, and that mean they take water out of fruit so you get even more of that fruit goodness. Beer is  made of grain, and everyone sees how healthy animals are that take in grain. Cheers!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have one body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. This is one of the easiest ratios to calculate!
 
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: I just can't think of single one!  My philosophy is quite simple: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A:  Food fried is in vegetable oil. How can getting more vegetables in your diet be bad?

Q: Will I be able to stay out of the hospital if I follow your advice?
A: No one in medicine can guarantee anything. Based on my research, not one publicized diet or exercise plan has enabled anyone to live to age 150! Not one! So, while others may criticize my advice – their advice has the same short-comings when it comes to extreme old age. Remember, hospitals are not healthy places to be in – it is full of sick people! Staying out is probably the best advice you will ever get for me!

[Shin]

 

[Poche]

I remeber the doctor I used to go to years ago. He had ashtrays in the waiting room.

[Shin]

I remeber the doctor I used to go to years ago. He had ashtrays in the waiting room.

I guess he wanted you to keep coming back Poche!