The Private notes of Saint Bernadette

[George]

Hi Brigid, maybe this will help.
This is the introduction to her private notes.

Saint Bernadette collected thoughts on the spiritual life from a number of sources and carefully copied them down in a small notebook, interspersing them with her own prayers and thoughts. This tiny anthology of PRIVATE NOTES is the most precious document from Bernadette's writings, for it offers us a glimpse into the spiritual life of "The most secret of Saints". The visionary who was blessed with so many apparitions of the Holy Virgin Mary had great difficulty expressing her spiritual state , even with her spiritual director Father Douce. The notes that were dear to Bernadette allow us to enter into the spiritual life of this humble nun, this great saint, by meditating on the thoughts that sustained her.
Although most entries are not original, her choices, indeed even her misquotes, are a reflection of her spiritual life.
The PRIVATE NOTES include the following:
1. Extracts from spiritual books.
2. Bernadette's own spontaneous prayers and thoughts.
3. Extracts from the journal of annual retreats (1860 _ 1870) by father Pierre Olivaint
4. Notes from a retreat given by Reverend Father Secail in 1873
5. A text copied from an image of the Holy Virgin.
6. Notes taken during a retreat given by Father Candeloup in 1874, the advice given to her by Father Douce in confession during this retreat and her resolutions.
7. Thoughts on holiness and on the rule of the congregation.

I hope this helps in understanding the notes.
Later on the in book there are private letters between Bernadette and those she corresponded with as well as her account of the apparitions.

[George]

Father Douce: You must carry your cross hidden in your heart as Mary did.

Resolution: I will be joyful when I go to the parlor, even if my heart is full of sadness.
I shall say to God: Yes, I will go there on the condition that you free a soul from purgatory or convert a sinner.

Father Douce: Place yourself in the heart of Mary and remain there. Make it your home on earth.
O my mother, it is to your heart that I come to lay down the anguish of my heart; it is there that I draw strength and courage.
Do not be afraid to carry the cross, even naked.
The more I give to Jesus, the more he will give to me. For love of Jesus, I must overcome my weakness or die.

Consider Saint John the Baptist on the banks of the Jordan

How austere and implacable he is! Jesus has not yet come, but look how Saint John prepare the way for him; how he inspires contrition through repentance; how he heralds the coming of Jesus! How he leads to Jesus! How he decreases before Jesus! Debeo a te baptizari.....See how humble and obedient he is before Jesus: Sic nos decet implere omnem justitiam, Jesus said, Omnem.....As Savior, by atoning for sins; as a sinner, by humbling himself and taking their place; as the Just One, by purifying himself again......Omnem, for Saint John the Baptist, as herald, by paying homage to his mission; as a servant, by obeying this master who pays him homage.
Yet another reason for Saint John the Baptist to exclaim: "Oportet illum crescere, me autem minui". I must do like him for I am still so very human.....too inflexible like Saint John the Baptist. 

I absolutely must do this so that God may be more glorified, so that my vocation will be better fulfilled, so that his grace will not be wasted in me, so that I may atone for the past and assure the future. But increase how, and diminish how? For Jesus to increase, I must decrease. His presence increases in proportion to how much I decrease. If I do not, I prevent him from increasing.

Why is he so little in me? It is because I am not little enough, not humble enough. Therefore may I become more humble, may I humble myself, and Jesus will increase.
Grow, Jesus, grow in me, in my heart, in my spirit, my imagination, my senses, by your modesty, your purity, your humility, your zeal, your love. Grow with your grace, your light, your peace. Grow despite my resistance, my pride. Grow until you reach the fullness of human perfection. Grow as you did at Nazareth before God and before men, for the glory of your Father. 

[Brigid]

There she talks a lot of Mary's part in love of Jesus.

It seems that she, like many Saints, stresses her own humility as the/a key.

[George]

There she talks a lot of Mary's part in love of Jesus.

It seems that she, like many Saints, stresses her own humility as the/a key.

Yes, humility and mortification, she seems to emphasize those two qualities, she still seems like the simple innocent girl the Virgin appeared too, only now she's surrounded by religious superiors and she's trying to learn the deeper mysteries of the faith, and striving to be a part of her religious community.

[George]

Ad majorem Dei gloriam

We are tempted by pride to the same degree that we experience God's glory, God's love, humility and poverty. To keep from preferring pleasure and honor, we must care about ourselves too much to seek these things. When we are tempted to break God's law, we must love ourselves too much to risk committing a venial sin. We must love ourselves too much to risk committing a mortal sin.

Put faith into practice by thinking on these four truths:

God is always present.
Nothing happens without his permission or outside his will.
Anything we do to others we do to him.
All kindness and goodness are in him.

Live Faith with these truths:

Drive out all sin.
Console all grief.
Cast away all listlessness.
Enrich each soul with the life of grace.
One day God will say about us: quoniam bene.

How? union with Jesus and Mary.

Baptism of Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ leaves his mother. Sciebat. She is resigned to it, or perhaps it is more accurate to say that she sends him, follows him in her heart and soon she is with him again. Jesus knows how to sacrifice the bonds of nature without wounding his mother's heart. Look at him going toward the Jordan. He has waited so long for the moment when he would begin his mission! Nevertheless, he does not hurry. He has an extraordinary kind of self-control. His Father's will governs everything. His only thought is to do his Fathers will.

[Shin]

How austere and implacable he is! Jesus has not yet come, but look how Saint John prepare the way for him; how he inspires contrition through repentance; how he heralds the coming of Jesus!

Do penance.. How important it is that it be 'penance'.. And that is how it is translated in the Douai.. but how many other places is it forgotten?

Drive out all sin.
Console all grief.
Cast away all listlessness.
Enrich each soul with the life of grace.
One day God will say about us: quoniam bene.

The virtue of hope!

[George]

His first apostolic steps, so gentle and so solemn, draw people and inspire respect. And here I am so hurried and so inflexible! How many souls are frightened away by the thought of submitting to God's will.

Why does god ask for this union and submission to his will? Because it is absolutely just, loveable, superior to everything, so much so that there is no plausible reason ever to reject it. God's will is the only sure rule of conduct.

However good our intentions may be, it is always wrong to go against God's will; it is always an illusion and a mistake.

We need never fear being deceived by illusion if we follow the will of God because it is the true secret to the highest perfection. It is the true means of glorifying God in all things. Ad majorem dei gloriam! It is not important to do many things or extraordinary things; it is only important to do God's will because the entire gospel is in that, the entire life of our Lord. This practice is certain help in times of darkness, for God can never deceive us.

I know in whom I have put my trust. I choose what God wills, as he wills it, because he wills it because this is the secret of peace and happiness. If we do this, it can be said of us, as of Jesus: "Bene Omnia fecit." And at every instant we ourselves can say, as God said after the creation: "Et vidit quod esset bonum," because a good judgment awaits us after death.

From now on, may I put his will above all else: homeland, fortune, happiness, food, life. Jesus's sole desire was to do his Father's will. Let it also be mine. And why should I complain about trials? Without trials, I shall never be detached from my own desires; I shall never truly come into God's glory.

How is it possible to do this? Purity of conscience, purity of intention, pious practices, virtues in one's vocation.

This year I must overcome or die. I will wage war on my own will. For the greater glory of God, it is not important to do many things, but to do them well.

                                                                       Vocation

Why the rule? What does it profit a man to gain the universe and lose his soul?

Obstacles:
1. Countless occupations.
2. Undisciplined zeal, like the foolish virgins.
3. Self-interest.
4. discouragement.

1. Do not just be a channel for grace, but a reservoir, an overflowing reservoir. No sooner has a channel received grace than it pours it out. A reservoir waits to be filled up and then offers grace to those who come to draw from it's superabundance.
2. If you do not act wisely, you exhaust yourself in senseless work.

[Brigid]

I have the obstacles down pat!

[George]

I have the obstacles down pat!

You are not alone, the more I read, the more I see how much work I have ahead of me.

[Shin]

I have the obstacles down pat!

 

[George]

                                                     The Private Life of Jesus Christ

He was interested in one thing alone: the holy will of his Father. This is his law and his life because it in doing God's will that his Father is glorified. It must be absolutely clear in my mind that everything consists in doing God's holy will.

But is not enough just to do God's will. I want to love doing God's holy will more than anything in the world.

What gifts do the shepherds bring? Not gold, incense and myrrh, but milk, fruit and sheep. In other words, purity, love, true piety and sacrifice.
And the Lamb gives himself to them. Mary presents him to them. How they embrace him in their arms, in their hearts. O Mary, keep Jesus in my heart.

Humility is the secret of God's glory.

AD majorem Dei gloriam.

Jesus in the heart of Mary: her heart is like an altar on which the victim of expiation, adoration, supplication and thanksgiving is offered.
Humiliation, suffering, privation in going to Bethlehem: so many ways to glorify God. They offer every trial to God. God's love grows in them through their sacrifices, and with love, the true life.

This interior life of Jesus hidden in Mary's heart is concealed from others, but what does that matter? How easily he finds his heavenly Father in Mary! How lovingly he glorifies his Father on the altar of Mary's heart! How he rejoices in cultivating Mary's beautiful soul with his grace!

May I too have an interior life!
What does it matter if no one sees it as long as I imitate Jesus, as long as I live through Jesus and I dwell in the heart of Mary like Jesus. May I accept privations, suffering and humiliations generously as Jesus, Mary and Joseph did in order to glorify God.

O my Jesus, be my strength and my virtue.

Meditation

1. Jesus is my model.
2. Jesus is my strength.
3. Jesus is my consolation.

On the spiritual resurrection of our souls

God is jealous of my heart. He wants me to sacrifice all human affections to him generously so that he may reign there as master.

I must become a great saint. My Jesus wants it and, by virtue of my situation, it is my duty.

On the death of a righteous person

A righteous person should not fear the destruction of his body since one day he will be resurrected glorious and radiant with glory.

On the reign of Jesus

Jesus must reign

1. In my heart.
2. In my Spirit.
3. In my will; in other words, in my entire soul.

[George]

The Fiat, of Mary's child

Of all Fiats, is this not the sweetest? Divine love unites them. Their two Hearts become one to love, to suffer and to obey.
No longer my will, my good Mother, but yours, which is always the will of Jesus.

                                                                         MARY

Courage, my child. You have found the precious pearl that buys the Kingdom of Heaven. To love what God wills always, to will it always, to desire it always, to do it always: this is the great secret of perfection, the key to paradise, the foretaste of the peace of the Saints.

The more you unite your heart to mine, the more you will understand the truth of these words. When you no longer have any will other than God's, your heart and mine will become one and the same heart. Learn to say the Ecce Ancilla (1) of perfect obedience with me each day.
(1) "I am the handmaid of the Lord" Lk. 1:38

Whatever trials the Lord sends you, whatever sacrifices he asks of you, whatever duties he imposes on you, always have this response of love and faithfulness on your lips and in your heart: Here is your servant, O my God, ready to undertake all, to give all, to sacrifice all, to offer up all, as long as Your will may be accomplished in me and on all the earth.

                                                                              THE SOUL

Ah! Let it be done unto me according to your word. O my Mother, let my heart, lost in yours, have no other movement, no other will, no other love than the desire of my divine Master. With my soul united to yours, let me begin here in this life to glorify the Lord by this perpetual homage of perfect submission. Yes, my God yes, yes....In everything and everywhere Yes....

[Brigid]

These quotes give me such a feeling of peace!

[Shin]

To love what God wills always, to will it always, to desire it always, to do it always: this is the great secret of perfection, the key to paradise, the foretaste of the peace of the Saints.

The more you unite your heart to mine, the more you will understand the truth of these words.

[George]

To love what God wills always, to will it always, to desire it always, to do it always: this is the great secret of perfection, the key to paradise, the foretaste of the peace of the Saints.

The more you unite your heart to mine, the more you will understand the truth of these words.

Amen, Amen!

[George]

                                                                              Retreat of 1874

The most important grace to ask for during this retreat: To live more and more hidden like Jesus and Mary.
Detachment from others and from myself.

I will pray an Our Father and a Hail Mary every day for this intention. Resolution: fight generously against my predominant fault, sensitivity. Go to the person who has hurt me and be very kind to her. Not for herself, but for the love of Our Lord.

                                                                           Advice given by Father Douce

Have no fear. Always stay very close to Our Lord, present in the tabernacle. Be completely absorbed by devotion to Him there and never let go. Pray that the Holy Virgin will keep you well hidden there. Consider this Good Master. He suffers so much in silence. Even though He could easily reduce this suffering to nothingness, he does not move.
For the love of Jesus, follow his example and carry your cross hidden in your heart generously and courageously. I have sinned. It is right I should suffer.

From time to time, read and meditate on the chapter of the treatise on "The Royal Way of the Holy Cross". You will find strength and courage there for the coming year.

Have you been short tempered? Make an act of contrition. Humble yourself before Our Lord and go to him with confidence. It would be better to apologize to your sister also, but you are not obligated to do so. It is to her own disadvantage if she does not use it for her spiritual growth. She should have enough charity in her heart to consider that you have received forgiveness for your fault.

As for poverty, since you have asked permission to give and to receive, there is no need to be specific.

The most important grace to ask for during this retreat: To live more and more hidden like Jesus and Mary.

Often remind yourself of this word that the most Holy Virgin said to you: Penance! Penance!
You should be the first one to put it into practice. For this intention, suffer trials in silence so that Jesus and Mary may be glorified. Ask Our Lord and the Most Holy Virgin to show you the cross he wants you to carry this year. Carry it lovingly, faithfully and generously. Every evening give it back to the Lord, who will return it to you every morning when you wake. Always receive it lovingly and generously. This cross will be your glory and your consolation.

Make an examination of conscience every month. Am I faithful in following the advice of my confessor has given me in any given circumstance? Am I faithful in refraining from what he has told me to avoid?

Let go of the past and have confidence in the future.

Grace to ask for: Humility and generosity in the trials I must suffer, both mentally and physically.

Resolution: Be faithful in practices of piety and in even the smallest details of our holy rule.

Particular subject of examination: Being composed in both exterior and interior trials and annoyances.

On the Last Day, all our virtues will be tested by fire. Only humility will be able to withstand it. Saint Ephrem.

                  Instruction on the spiritual resurrection of our souls

In other words, with a spirit of faith, let the goal of all our actions be to please Our Lord. The more we die on the cross, the more glorious our resurrection will be. What folly it is to pull away when Our Lord asks for our hand to nail it to the cross. From now on, the more I am crucified, the more I will rejoice.......