A Joke a Day

[odhiambo]

A Catholic priest and a Protestant clergyman were having a heated argument over the merits of their respective faiths.
Neither would agree nor yield a point to the other.
Finally the Catholic gave it up saying:
"Very well, we must agree to differ and go our separate ways---, you to worship God in your way and me to worship Him in His"

[Shin]

Too true!!

[odhiambo]

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad , what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember,
if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me,
your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...." 

[Patricia]

 

[odhiambo]

A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford ...........

"The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High transfat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

After several seconds of quiet, a 70-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake....!!!!"

[Shin]

 

Have a goodnight Odhiambo!!

[odhiambo]

Have a goodnight Odhiambo!!

Night Shin!

[odhiambo]

Subject: True sign in a window store in Scotland.

SIGN IN A STORE WINDOW:

'WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL  QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE
SINGLE BRITISH SOLDIER!'

This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in
CAMPBELTOWN , SCOTLAND .

You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement.
However, we are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our
greatest liberty.
After all, it is ONLY A SIGN.
You may say, “ What kind of business would dare to post such a sign?”

Answer:

A FUNERAL PARLOUR

[Shin]

 

That was a great laugh odhiambo!

[odhiambo]

 

[Neopelagianus]

Funny, especially the first and the last one 

N.

[odhiambo]

Fishing?
 
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle 
in front of the pub.
 
A ragged old man was standing there with a rod 
and hanging a string into the puddle.
 
 A tipsy-looking, curious gentleman came over to 
him and asked what he was doing.
 
 'Fishing,' the old man said simply.
 
 'Poor old fool,'  the gentleman thought and he 
invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub.
 
 As he felt he should start some conversation 
while they were sipping their whisky,
 
 The gentleman asked, ‘And how many have you caught?'
 
 'You're the eighth,' the old man answered.
 

[Shin]

That one's rather heartwarming!