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Saints' Discussion Forums  |  Forums  |  Everything Else  |  Topic: Joke of the Day 0 Members and 4 Guests are viewing this topic. « previous next »
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Author Topic: Joke of the Day  (Read 35833 times)
Shin
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« Reply #16 on: April 11, 2013, 12:46:37 AM »
Ha ha ha I can see the ladies really liked the last joke!  Cheesy
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
odhiambo
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« Reply #17 on: April 13, 2013, 04:56:33 AM »
An elderly gentleman was stopped by police at 2 am one night.
The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night.
The gentleman answered:
" I am on my way to a complicated talk about alcohol abuse, it's influence on the human body, influences of smoking and delayed home coming!"
"Uuuh, who on earth delivers such a lecture at this time of night?", asked the officer, very much taken aback.
"My wife", answered the old man glibly  Grin
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“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
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Brigid
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« Reply #18 on: April 13, 2013, 03:55:21 PM »
 rotfl blue
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Matt. 6:21
odhiambo
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« Reply #19 on: May 01, 2013, 05:01:32 AM »
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her
 mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''

 The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness, and
today is the happiest day of her life.'

 The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the
groom wearing black?' Grin
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
Patricia
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« Reply #20 on: May 01, 2013, 10:08:37 AM »
 Grin Unsuspecting groom!
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Shin
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« Reply #21 on: May 01, 2013, 02:09:37 PM »
 rotfl blue

. . .

An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband."

His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until next year, on their anniversary, when he came home, kissed his wife and said off-handedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?"

 speachless
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
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« Reply #22 on: May 01, 2013, 03:58:35 PM »
 Grin
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Patricia
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« Reply #23 on: May 01, 2013, 04:32:52 PM »
Good one Shin. Cheesy
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'His mother saith to the servants: Whatsoever he shall say to you, do ye.'
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odhiambo
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« Reply #24 on: May 02, 2013, 01:02:30 PM »
Quote from: Shin on May 01, 2013, 02:09:37 PM
rotfl blue

. . .

An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband."

His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until next year, on their anniversary, when he came home, kissed his wife and said off-handedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?"

 speachless

 big grin
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
odhiambo
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« Reply #25 on: May 04, 2013, 11:32:05 AM »
I hope this has not already been posted

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of
 paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'

 The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few
 words on piece of paper,he calls it a song, they give him $100.'

The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a
 few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes
 eight people to collect all the money!'
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
Shin
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« Reply #26 on: May 04, 2013, 02:17:49 PM »
No, I've never seen that one!

 happy roll rotfl rotfl blue
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
Brigid
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« Reply #27 on: May 04, 2013, 02:37:41 PM »
 Grin rotfl
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Matt. 6:21
susanna
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« Reply #28 on: May 04, 2013, 06:20:09 PM »
Hello!  Just heard this yesterday -
A man stopped at a chicken take-out place and ordered a bucket of chicken.  The owner accidentally gave him the bucket with the day's money in it, where he had it hidden.  The man left, but when he saw that the bucket was full of money, he took it back.  The owner was so grateful  that he said "I'm going to call the local TV news station, your honesty is so wonderful in times like these I want people to see what a good man you are."  The customer said "Oh please don't, that woman in the car is not my wife!"   
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Shin
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« Reply #29 on: May 05, 2013, 03:13:07 AM »
Good to see you Susanna!  Cheesy
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
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« Reply #30 on: May 05, 2013, 04:20:52 PM »
Quote from: susanna on May 04, 2013, 06:20:09 PM
Hello!  Just heard this yesterday -
A man stopped at a chicken take-out place and ordered a bucket of chicken.  The owner accidentally gave him the bucket with the day's money in it, where he had it hidden.  The man left, but when he saw that the bucket was full of money, he took it back.  The owner was so grateful  that he said "I'm going to call the local TV news station, your honesty is so wonderful in times like these I want people to see what a good man you are."  The customer said "Oh please don't, that woman in the car is not my wife!"   


 Grin
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Matt. 6:21
Shin
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« Reply #31 on: May 08, 2013, 05:09:28 AM »
Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old buddy Johnny,
"How come you aren't married?"

Johnny: "I haven't found the right woman yet."

George: "So what are you looking for?"

Johnny: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, a good cook and house-keeper, and she's got to know how to handle money, a really nice and pleasant personality is a must - and money, she's got to have money... and a home, a nice big house."

George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU."

Johnny: "Oh, it's okay if she's crazy."
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
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