Here are some funny ones!
Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
If a pig loses its voice. . .
Is it disgruntled?
Why is a person who plays a piano called a pianist,
But a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds; when they already know you're broke?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it and then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're OK, then it's you!
REMEMBER, A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine!
And a day without sunshine is, like . . . . . . . . night!