Joke of the Day

[Shin]

An elderly lady won a ticket to the Stanley Cup finals. When she entered the gigantic arena she noticed her seat was way up in the top level. She said to herself, "I could never climb all those stairs - and even if I could I would be too far away from the action to see anything."

So she started looking around and was surprised to see an empty seat just a few feet away beside a man sitting at ice-level. "Excuse me sir, is anyone sitting in that seat?" , she asked.

"Well my wife was going to...but I guess you could sit here" , the man answered.
"Oh no !" , the lady countered," I couldn't take the place reserved for your wife."

"No...you don't understand " , smiled the man ," We bought these tickets when they were first available - some time back, and we were supposed to come together...but my wife just died three days ago...so she can't come."

"Oh, you poor dear", the lady replied, "Don't you have any friends?"

"Sure", said the man, "I have lots of friends."

"But none of them could even come with you to the hockey game?", the lady asked.

"No", replied the man, "They're all at my wife's funeral."

[Brigid]

An elderly lady won a ticket to the Stanley Cup finals. When she entered the gigantic arena she noticed her seat was way up in the top level. She said to herself, "I could never climb all those stairs - and even if I could I would be too far away from the action to see anything."

So she started looking around and was surprised to see an empty seat just a few feet away beside a man sitting at ice-level. "Excuse me sir, is anyone sitting in that seat?" , she asked.

"Well my wife was going to...but I guess you could sit here" , the man answered.
"Oh no !" , the lady countered," I couldn't take the place reserved for your wife."

"No...you don't understand " , smiled the man ," We bought these tickets when they were first available - some time back, and we were supposed to come together...but my wife just died three days ago...so she can't come."

"Oh, you poor dear", the lady replied, "Don't you have any friends?"

"Sure", said the man, "I have lots of friends."

"But none of them could even come with you to the hockey game?", the lady asked.

"No", replied the man, "They're all at my wife's funeral."

oh, no

[Brigid]

Sirach 26:14 A silent wife is a gift from the Lord"

[Shin]

'It is better to sit in a corner of the rooftop, than with a quarrelsome woman in a common house.'

Proverbs 25:24, Proverbs 21:9

It's in there twice!!!

 

[George]

The state of marriage is one that requires more virtue and constancy than any other. It is a perpetual exercise in mortification
St. Francis de Sales

[Shin]

The state of marriage is one that requires more virtue and constancy than any other. It is a perpetual exercise in mortification
St. Francis de Sales

Ho ho! You keep coming up with the good ones lately George!!!

 

[Patricia]

Good one George!!   

[odhiambo]

I read somewhere that a  Catholic Deacon, during a sermon  on marriage last year, joked that true marriage "can only be between Adam and Eve  not Adam and Steve''.
He later apologized. I wish he had just stood by his words. .

[Brigid]

Yeah, why the apology? Oh, well. The names were funny.

[odhiambo]

The Chicken and the Pig

Once upon a time, there was a pig and chicken.
The animals were good friends and decided to go for a little walk.
 As they strolled along the road they saw a sign that read: "Charity Breakfast."  
The chicken said to the pig, "Let's go help with the charity breakfast.
  I'll provide the eggs and you can provide the ham."  
The pig said to the chicken, "That's okay for you.
 Providing the eggs is just an offering of eggs on your part,
 but providing the ham is a total commitment for me, a sacrifice ! "

[Patricia]

Nice joke!

[Brigid]

 

[Patricia]

The Perfect Husband:

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes”
WOMAN: “I’m at the mall now and found this beautiful leather
coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.
“WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked.
“MAN: “How much?
“WOMAN: “$65,000.
“MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.
“WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000.
“WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!
“MAN: “Bye, I love you, too.”

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he smiles and asks: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”

[odhiambo]

 
Wow! Quite a shopper that woman.
As for the "husband", the woman should have heard alarm bells; In my experience
husbands are not usually so accommodating, even when they are loaded!
Sorry all ye married guys, you are the exceptions of course!

[Patricia]

She must have thought that her husband was in an exceptionally generous mood and did not want to lose the opportunity 

[Brigid]