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Saints' Discussion Forums  |  Forums  |  Everything Else  |  Topic: Jokes for the Day 0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic. « previous next »
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Shin
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« on: September 03, 2010, 03:15:40 PM »
Cardinal Siri's joke:

Where is collegiality mentioned in the Bible?

Answer "And they all fled."

A certain incompetent artist prevailed upon Pope Pius IX to sit for a portrait and when the canvas was finished, urged the Holy Father to sign it with a few words from the Holy Scriptures. The Pope glanced at the portrait, which was so poorly done it scarcely resembled him, and complied with the artist's request. Not until later did it dawn on the artist the Pope had written the words of Our Lord, "Nolite timere, ergo sum" which mean "Fear not, it is I."

Q: Why does an Anglican have difficulty playing chess?
A: He can't tell the difference between a bishop and a queen.

Q: What is the difference between an agnostic and an apathetic?
A: I don't know and I don't care.

 Cheesy
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
Patricia
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« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2010, 03:19:39 PM »
Hilarious! happy roll
If that is a true story about Pope Pius IX, he had a good sense of humour.
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~~~John 2:5
Shin
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« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2010, 03:29:54 PM »
Quote from: Patricia on September 03, 2010, 03:19:39 PM
Hilarious! happy roll
If that is a true story about Pope Pius IX, he had a good sense of humour.

Yes, I wonder! It's a good one!

 happy roll
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
martin
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« Reply #3 on: September 03, 2010, 05:29:34 PM »
Haha ha... those are really funny.. And the Cardinal Siri's joke, that has to be true.  rotfl rotfl rotfl
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"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
(Galatians 2:20)
Brigid
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« Reply #4 on: September 03, 2010, 09:45:33 PM »
Quote from: martin on September 03, 2010, 05:29:34 PM
Haha ha... those are really funny.. And the Cardinal Siri's joke, that has to be true.  rotfl rotfl rotfl
happy roll happy roll happy roll
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Patricia
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« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2010, 04:25:54 PM »
A German, looking for directions in Paris, pulls up to a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.
  " Entschuldigungm, sprechen Sie Deutsch?" he asks.  The two Americans just stare at him.  " Parlez-vous francais?" he says.
The two continue to stare, so the German tries again:  "Parlate italiano?" No response. " Hablan ustedes espanol?"  Still nothing.
Frustrated, the German guy drives off.
The first American says, " You know, we should learn a foreign language."
"Why?"  asks the other. "He knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
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Shin
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« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2010, 10:50:21 PM »
A corker! A definite corker!  Cheesy

 happy roll
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Brigid
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« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2010, 10:53:08 PM »
And we get more and more like the British Isles! Grin Grin
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For where thy treasure is, there is thy heart also.
Matt. 6:21
Shin
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« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2010, 11:23:13 PM »
Ole was fishing with Sven in a rented boat. They could not catch a thing. Ole said, "Let's go a bit furder down stream." So they did and they caught many many monstrous fish. Since they had their limit, they went home. On the way home Sven said, "I marked da spot right in da middle of da boat, Ole."

Ole, "So tell me how you know we'll get da same boat next time?"

...

A man was very unhappy and related to his friend, "My doctor says I can't play golf."

"He saw you at the office?"

"No, he saw me here at the course!"
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
Brigid
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« Reply #9 on: September 16, 2010, 01:21:22 PM »
I think that since I'm a goodly amount Swedish that I'll take that personally.... happy roll rotfl rotfl rotfl blue
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For where thy treasure is, there is thy heart also.
Matt. 6:21
martin
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« Reply #10 on: September 16, 2010, 07:08:34 PM »
Brigid maybe the Sweedish are becoming the new Irish  rotfl blue rotfl happy roll
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"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
(Galatians 2:20)
Brigid
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« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2010, 07:22:18 PM »
Quote from: martin on September 16, 2010, 07:08:34 PM
Brigid maybe the Sweedish are becoming the new Irish  rotfl blue rotfl happy roll


[shakes head  bigbluegrin rotfl blue ]
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Matt. 6:21
martin
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« Reply #12 on: September 17, 2010, 05:45:09 PM »
Just to balance things out Brigid here's an Irish joke.   Smiley

Paddy gets an unexpected job offer from a company in Spain. Not knowing any Spanish he asks his mum for some advice on how to communicate when over there.
His mum explains,  “Talk very slowly and clearly son. In that way you’ve a good chance of being understood.”

So arriving in Spain paddy has a few hours to spare. He goes into a bar and the Bar Tender nods to take his order.
Paddy very slowly speaks his request; “A…. PINT…OF…YOUR…BEST…LOCAL…BEER….PLEASE,”
The friendly Bar Tender while pouring paddy’s drink asks in slow English, “AND…WHAT…PART…OF…THE…GLOBE…ARE…YOU…FROM.”
Paddy replies, “I’M…FROM…IRELAND.
The Bar Tender says, “THAT’S…A…COINCEDENCE…I’M…FROM…IRELAND…TOO.
“Imagine that,” Paddy says… “Here we are both from Ireland and standing here talking to each other in Spanish.
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"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
(Galatians 2:20)
Shin
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« Reply #13 on: September 17, 2010, 05:46:45 PM »
 happy roll

Good evening Martin! What time is it over there on the Emerald Isle?

Is it raining or fair?

Now that I know I can speak Spanish too!  Cheesy
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
martin
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« Reply #14 on: September 17, 2010, 05:51:40 PM »
Hi Shin,  It's 9:45 pm over here.
Weather dry and clear but a little nippy. The Pope had a lovely sunny day too in Scotland yesterday.
Great multilingual forum you have here  Cheesy
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"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
(Galatians 2:20)
Shin
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« Reply #15 on: September 17, 2010, 05:54:31 PM »
Quote from: martin on September 17, 2010, 05:51:40 PM
Hi Shin,  It's 9:45 pm over here.
Weather dry and clear but a little nippy. The Pope had a lovely sunny day too in Scotland yesterday.
Great multilingual forum you have here  Cheesy


Heheh, it always was a goal of mine to have the saints' quotes translated to other languages.

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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
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