Jokes and Riddle for the day

[Shin]

In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it -- "THINK!" The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read -- "THOAP!"


The strangest creature you'll ever find: Two eyes in front and many many more behind.

A peacock!


A doctor is to give a speech at the local AMA dinner. He jots down notes for his speech. Unfortunately, when he stands in front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can't read his notes. So he asks, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"

[Brigid]

The last I got right away (having had to read drs. writing a lot), but the first two I didn't get at all.

[Shin]

Well, the second one's a tough riddle unless you're mind's with the birds.

The first one.. Tech guys just think that way.. Sink.. Soap.. Think..

 

[martin]

I got the first and last one but not the middle one.
I peeked at the answer though.    My reformation didn't last long. 

[Shin]

What is a country song played backwards? Your wife gets back with you, your dog comes back to life, your car starts, you get your job back and life is great.

There was this city doctor who started a practice in the countryside. He once had to go to a farm to attend to a sick farmer who lived there. After a few housecalls he stopped coming to the farm. The puzzled farmer finally phoned him to ask whats the matter, didn't he like him or somethin'. The doctor replied, "No, its your ducks at the entrance... Every time I enter the farm, they insult me!"

 

[Shin]

Love the holy card Brigid! 

[Brigid]

What is a country song played backwards? Your wife gets back with you, your dog comes back to life, your car starts, you get your job back and life is great.

Does this mean that a good Catholic life is like a country song played forward?  

[Shin]

What is a country song played backwards? Your wife gets back with you, your dog comes back to life, your car starts, you get your job back and life is great.

Does this mean that a good Catholic life is like a country song played forward?  

 

[RachelKH]

i love these -- i'm getting my humor fix for the morning -- but how does martin peek at the answers?  i just don't get the second one!  i need help -- inever studied bird names, if that is the answer -- any hints or do i need to cheat by googling or something??

[RachelKH]

here's one for you -- no riddle, just a funny:

A little girl, dressed in her "Sunday best" was late and running to her Sunday school class. As she ran, she prayed, "Dear God, please don't let me be late. Dear God, please don't let me be late."
Then she fell.
She got up, dusted her self off and saw that her dress was now dirty and had a little tear.
She started running again, still praying, "Dear God, please don't let me be late."
But this time she added, "But please don't push me, either!"

[Shin]

here's one for you -- no riddle, just a funny:

A little girl, dressed in her "Sunday best" was late and running to her Sunday school class. As she ran, she prayed, "Dear God, please don't let me be late. Dear God, please don't let me be late."
Then she fell.
She got up, dusted her self off and saw that her dress was now dirty and had a little tear.
She started running again, still praying, "Dear God, please don't let me be late."
But this time she added, "But please don't push me, either!"

  Oh that one's a riot, it reminds me of St. Teresa of Avila in the mud.

If you use your mouse you can highlight text, and with riddles I put the text in invisible ink so to speak, white colored.. but if you highlight just under the riddle, it will be revealed!

[RachelKH]

oh no!  that sort of cheating is too easy!  oh i hope i can resist!  i like to work my brain but the easy way is so tempting!!  wow -- you do have a lot of computer tricks up your sleeve!

[RachelKH]

hahaha!  i cheated!  i love that one -- can't wait to share that at dinner tonight -- my girls will love it.

on the same sort of line as the Think-Thoap joke -- my daughter kept forgetting her cell phone and my other daughter kept forgetting to hang up her coat, so to remind them, i put up a post-it on the door that said 'CELL PHONE!'  and another on the wall that said "COAT!" and when my brother came to visit he joked that i was going to really confuse my kids, telling them a door was a cell phone and a wall was a coat.  oh well it was funny at the time -- it still makes me smile to remember -- i love my brother!

[Shin]

Here a riddle:

Q: What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in one thousand years?

 

[whiterockdove]

I cheated and looked it up,  but I won't spoil it.
 Lets see if someone smarter than me actually figures it out.   

n

[odhiambo]

Here a riddle:

Q: What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in one thousand years?

 

I knew it straight away Shin, so we must have come across it earlier. It is the letter "m"