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Saints' Discussion Forums  |  Forums  |  Everything Else  |  Topic: Joke and Riddles 0 Members and 5 Guests are viewing this topic. « previous next »
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Author Topic: Joke and Riddles  (Read 56598 times)
Brigid
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« Reply #80 on: February 07, 2013, 04:02:21 PM »
  bigbluegrin
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For where thy treasure is, there is thy heart also.
Matt. 6:21
Shin
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« Reply #81 on: February 07, 2013, 04:07:53 PM »
Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said, "We've reached our cruising altitude now, and I'm turning off the seat belt sign. I'm switching to autopilot, too, so I can come back there and visit with all of you for the rest of the flight."

 Cheesy
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
Brigid
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« Reply #82 on: February 07, 2013, 04:11:38 PM »
"Groan".  Grin
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For where thy treasure is, there is thy heart also.
Matt. 6:21
Shin
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« Reply #83 on: February 17, 2013, 11:47:45 PM »
To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.

Send this to your kids or relatives also so they know what happened to you.

Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home.

I started to cry when I thought of you.

Then it dawned on me ... oh, dear, oh no ...

I'll see you on the bus..
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
Shin
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« Reply #84 on: March 09, 2013, 01:47:49 AM »
GI Insurance

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.

Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000."

"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
odhiambo
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« Reply #85 on: March 09, 2013, 10:10:22 AM »
Quote from: Shin on March 09, 2013, 01:47:49 AM
GI Insurance

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.

Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000."

"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"

A real salesman, tongue in cheek Captain Smith  Grin
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 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
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susanna
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« Reply #86 on: May 25, 2013, 06:35:41 PM »
What did the Egyptian border guard say to Mary and Joseph with the baby Jesus when they arrived in Egypt? 



How was your flight? 
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Brigid
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« Reply #87 on: May 26, 2013, 04:42:50 PM »
<<Groan>>  Grin
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Shin
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« Reply #88 on: May 28, 2013, 03:40:43 AM »
 Cheesy

Good morning Susanna!  Grin


Here're some more riddles!


I. Why is death like the letter 'E'?

Because it is at the end of. . .


II. Why are bald people's house easier to break into?

Because they. . .


III. Why is life the most difficult riddle of all?

Because you must. . .


I've even made things slightly easier with the first few words of the answers.  Cheesy
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
odhiambo
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« Reply #89 on: May 28, 2013, 12:51:39 PM »
Quote from: Shin on May 28, 2013, 03:40:43 AM
Cheesy

Good morning Susanna!  Grin


Here're some more riddles!


I. Why is death like the letter 'E'?

Because it is at the end of. . .


II. Why are bald people's house easier to break into?

Because they. . .


III. Why is life the most difficult riddle of all?

Because you must. . .


I've even made things slightly easier with the first few words of the answers.  Cheesy

You don't mind do you Susanna, I want to have a go at it  Grin
I.  Death is  like the letter 'E' because it is at the end of "life"  Grin

II Bald people's houses are easier to break into because they have no tops  Grin

III.  Life the most difficult riddle of all because you must live it  Grin

Wild, wild guesses Shin. I can only put my money on the first answer as being correct. Grin
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
Shin
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« Reply #90 on: May 30, 2013, 11:25:40 AM »
Congralations!

First one's right odhiambo!  cheers

Second one is.. almost correct! You could say it was correct, but there's a better way to put it! You've almost got it!  Grin

Third one, try again!  happy roll
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
odhiambo
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« Reply #91 on: May 31, 2013, 04:25:28 AM »
Quote from: odhiambo on May 28, 2013, 12:51:39 PM


II Bald people's houses are easier to break into because they have no tops  Grin


I think I came across the answer inadvertently so I will not answer but give somebody else a clue.
I hope it is the right clue.
Here it is ---think "Goldilocks"  Grin
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
odhiambo
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« Reply #92 on: May 31, 2013, 04:28:20 AM »
I am giving up on the third one Shin, I am completely clueless Smiley
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
odhiambo
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« Reply #93 on: May 31, 2013, 04:37:18 AM »
Okay,  a last try before I give up:
III.  Life the most difficult riddle of all because it cannot be solved; it has no solution.  Smiley
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
Shin
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« Reply #94 on: May 31, 2013, 06:15:57 AM »
 happy roll

Correct on both counts, but the first answer you gave for # 3, not the second!

Life is the hardest riddle.. because you have to give it up!

 rotfl rotfl blue
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'Flores apparuerunt in terra nostra. . . Fulcite me floribus. (The flowers appear on the earth. . . stay me up with flowers. Sg 2:12,5)
odhiambo
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« Reply #95 on: May 31, 2013, 03:25:12 PM »
Quote from: Shin on May 31, 2013, 06:15:57 AM
happy roll

Correct on both counts, but the first answer you gave for # 3, not the second!

Life is the hardest riddle.. because you have to give it up!

 rotfl rotfl blue
Wow!wow!wow!
Of course, there is really no other answer but that one; I wish I had not given up so quickly  Grin
It seems so obvious now does it not?
Well, another day, another puzzle  Grin
That was a good, good one Shin, I like it.  thumbs up
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Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Inspirational Quotes from the saints:
'If men but knew Thee, O my God!'
St. Ignatius of Loyola
“Late have I loved Thee,
 O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
 late have I loved Thee!......”
St. Augustine of Hippo
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