Gardening & Vegetable Jokes and Riddles

[Shin]

Here's a gardening theme.. remember after the jokes for the riddles -- that theme..

Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled.

What do you get if you divide the circumference
of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.

I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid
and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United
States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-   George Bush, U.S. President, 1990

What do you call a stolen yam?
A hot potato.

Have you heard of the garlic diet?
You don't lose much weight, but from a distance
your friends think you look thinner.

What do you get if you cross a four leaf clover with poison ivy?
A rash of good luck.

A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help.  . . What exactly have you done?"

Where did the vegetables go to have a few drinks?
The Salad Bar.

Everyone has these on their face?
Tulips.

What vegetable do you need a plumber for?
A Leek.

What runs but never gets tired?
Water.

[martin]

A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help.  . . What exactly have you done?"

That one sounds familiar. 

[Shin]

A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help.  . . What exactly have you done?"

That one sounds familiar. 

  

[Brigid]

I especially like the Bush quip.


1) watering hole

2) eyes

3) leek

4) my toilet

[Shin]

Ah Brigid, creative as ever I see!

#3 is spot on, the rest are creatively correct!   

[Brigid]

Ah Brigid, creative as ever I see!

#3 is spot on, the rest are creatively correct!   

I'd rather be creative than not and only correct.

Actually, being creative is a gift from Him so it is my duty to use it. Right?

[Shin]

Ah Brigid, creative as ever I see!

#3 is spot on, the rest are creatively correct!   

I'd rather be creative than not and only correct.

Actually, being creative is a gift from Him so it is my duty to use it. Right?

For sure! You score more points this way than the other! 

[martin]

We have Politically Correct
and now we have Creatively Correct.

Are you sure you both aren't pulling this out of the air?
I'll have to have a talk with Patricia to see if this is acceptable. 

[Shin]

We have Politically Correct
and now we have Creatively Correct.

Are you sure you both aren't pulling this out of the air?
I'll have to have a talk with Patricia to see if this is acceptable. 

 

[Brigid]

But Martin, isn't pulling something out of the air being creative?

[martin]

But Martin, isn't pulling something out of the air being creative?

Is that not called Magic? 

[Brigid]

But Martin, isn't pulling something out of the air being creative?

Is that not called Magic? 

But I don't equate rabbits with creativity (although Patricia might ).

[martin]

But I don't equate rabbits with creativity (although Patricia might Grin )

If you can get Patricia on your side by talking rabbit, then I'll consider that cheating. 

[Shin]

But I don't equate rabbits with creativity (although Patricia might Grin )

If you can get Patricia on your side by talking rabbit, then I'll consider that cheating. 

 

[Brigid]

But I don't equate rabbits with creativity (although Patricia might Grin )

If you can get Patricia on your side by talking rabbit, then I'll consider that cheating. 

[RachelKH]

1.  to a salad bar???

2.  tulips???  (two lips)

4.   -- total blank, except for garden fence or garden path that runs around/through the garden, or maybe strawberry runners??